#17 Christmas – ‘When You Are 5’

Remember the build up to Christmas Day as a kid? December 1st you open your 1st door of the Advent calendar and 10 days later you open day 2, or so it seems. It takes forever. I truly believe as a child I manipulated the time space continuum. It is conceivable that Santa could deliver presents to every child* in the world in one night, because Christmas Eve lasts about 10 years.

Today was Christmas Eve. The new job I had lined up was today, and I had to go there for 5pm. I had no other work before that, so I had all day to relax, but It feels like the morning started in 1981. When you have an extreme bout of anxiety, like I did today, time slows down, or even seems to stop.

I had breakfast, lunch and snacks, but still found myself hungry all day. Thats because the day has been 79 hours long. There must of been 17 hours between breakfast and lunch – who wouldn’t be hungry waiting that long?

The Christmas analogy doesn’t stop there though, because what happens? You finally reach the day you have waited so long for. It comes, its finally here. You have aged about 10 years, but it has arrived. Then, as if you accidently pressed the next chapter button on the remote control – I’m not talking about the fast forward button here, I am talk about the next chapter button. Thats the one where it skips for half a second and the boat has suddenly sank and Jack is freezing to death and you have no idea why. That button. That happens.

Christmas day is over, skipped forward. The excitement was short lived and you have to wait another year for the same thing. I did that, and I did the job – which went well – and then it was over. I didn’t even get a Stretch Arm Strong out of it.


*Born in Christian based culture.

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