#30 Black Hole – ‘Yeah, it is quite strong’

The humble black hole in the night sky has mesmerised astrologers for decades. A patch of sky with such high gravitational force that even light cannot make it out. It just leaves a round dark spot in the sky – hence the name black hole. Like an astrological vacuum, these things will take in anything that comes its way, with little sympathy for what has come before. Everything shall be consumed.

Now, the story of black holes is not new to almost anyone in the western world. And, by now, neither is my mental illness.* 

So why is the force still so great? This is what I would ask myself. If I know I have this illness – why can’t I seem to do anything about it?

I am happy, I’ve been doing happy things. With people I love, all week. So why is there this over arching sense of darkness? Where does that come from? 

The answer lies in black holes.

I am currently on my own planet of fun and happiness, which I created – through actions and activities. But knowledge of the black hole does not diminish the power of the black hole. Just like knowledge of my illness, does not diminish the power of my illness. Once you are in the orbit of a black hole, you will eventually be pulled in. 

Maybe I’m just an unlucky planet. Doing all the right things to create happiness but the darkness still looms. 

And I am doing the ‘right’ things, and this darkness is not leaving. But I am also aware that mental illness seems to exist in that gap between expectation and reality. So I suppose I  just need to adjust my expectations, or stop watching Interstellar every night.

Mindfump.

P.S Last night of phone blogging – back to normal tomorrow, inc. artwork (which no one asked for or missed).

*because everyone in the western world reads my blog.*

*Sarcasm

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31 Comments

  1. S. Hansen

    This post came at a surprisingly appropriate moment. I just spent the last two days doing great happy things. And then now I’m more unhappy than I was before the two happy days… this black hole analogy is brilliant.
    The pull of that black hole seems to get stronger the more I pull away from it :/

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Mindfump

      Glad you could relate to it – and that I not the only one. It really does seem to get stronger, but I don’t think it is time to be sucked into the black hole yet. Just in a passing orbit. Hope you are feeling better Hansen.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. S. Hansen

        Honestly (my mother always said honesty was the best policy) I am not feeling at all better. It’s a real crash to go from a high right back down to the lows in the space of about three days :/
        On the plus side though I have had a great time hanging out with one of my siblings and we had a looong chat about the subject of what is probably going to be next post :p

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Mindfump

          Ah nice, I will look forward to reading about it. So no spoilers please. Sorry to hear you are not feeling better though, honesty is the best option. The fact of the matter is that things will get better. I just don’t know when. Keep going and it will come around again.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Mindfump

      Oh man, now the pressure is on haha the artwork is just the picture on each post. I make them at the same time. Don’t get your hopes up too high. But check out the other posts and you will see what I mean. Thank you for following! I really appreciate it (again – I just replied to another message of yours).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Joonas Kopponen

    You made the thingies about each post yourself? Then I have missed your artwork! Sorry for being silly, was not sure what you have meant.

    Aaarrgh I wish I could help you somehow! =/ Still.. Great post and laughed at the Interstellar thing! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Joonas Kopponen

        You were being what in the what now? *english not being native language moment blank stare at the meaning of the sentence* I have liked the thingies aka wonderful pieces of artwork, always bring more flavor to your posts, even though they tend to be delicious already. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

          1. S. Hansen

            Oh well now I have a new idea for a post. I already did a why I think English is weird post, now I can do a weird English phrases post.
            Keep you eyes peeled is pretty weird. Why are you peeling your eyes at all?!

            Liked by 1 person

  3. bpdinformer

    Another good post, and as others have said, highly appropriate for me at this moment (perhaps we are all orbiting the same black hole??) I love the way you inject subtle humour into your posts, it’s refreshing! Also, yes to the illustrations! I missed them!

    Liked by 1 person

        1. Mindfump

          Yeah I totally know what you mean, if you’re ever bored you can play a game of ‘spot when mindfump is too lazy to make a good illustration’ I don’t think they are difficult to spot. Love that you do it though.

          Liked by 1 person

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