Brain Review: 25,000 Lightyears

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Wow! What a product! When I first got this brain, it was amazing. There’s a few years of software calibration required so I spent a lot of time putting things in my mouth that and crapping myself. But it’s okay, you can just shout ‘Muuumm!’ and people will clean up your mess for you. This brain is very good for completing basic maths but it’s strength is in literacy. Using words will be an absolute doddle for you if you’re current brain is smart enough to invest in it’s replacement.

With this brain, you won’t have to worry about maintaining friendships ever again, because you won’t have any friends. What a time saver! You won’t have to worry about expensive gym fees because this brain won’t motivate you to go. This brain will literally save you money! And work place stress will be a thing of the past because this brain has no career ambition.  Another great perk of this brain is that you won’t have to worry about those unsightly smile lines on your face. This brain is endlessly morose so you just don’t smile enough to cause those ghastly lines.

Before I got this brain I just uselessly rolled around not doing anything. Now I have a brain, I roll around over thinking everything and generally feeling very sad. My life has improved greatly as you can see. I cannot recommend this brain enough. You will save time and money by buying it. It’s an investment in your life.

Twitter: @25,000lightyears


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      1. S. Hansen

        Was it an accident? Or were you in fact so impressed with the work quality you were unable to control then urge to keep posting?
        Wow false confidence is just streaming out of me today.
        Thanks though, I read it to K.Hansen yesterday and they said I sounded really really depressed, so I was worried about it lol

        Liked by 2 people

          1. S. Hansen

            I know show me were the negativity is…
            K actually did study psychology for a while and would make and excellent therapist, but this is a pretty easy case to solve… I think K just hadn’t realised quite how depressed I’ve been lately. On the plus side K is now actively taking on the role of older sibling and helping me out a bunch. Kinda wish I lived K and not O… (so many siblings to keep track of :p)

            Liked by 1 person

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