“Aeroplanes wing it” he said. It was a joke, apparently. Whilst it may sound nice, it obviously makes no sense at all – structurally or metaphorically. If there was anything to ever describe an aeroplane and its actions, winging it was not one. They’re meticulously designed and tested over many years before taking flight. I said.
It would be fair to say that if my response was an aeroplane, it wouldn’t have made it off the ground. But it doesn’t need to, because it is merely a vehicle to reach the next point, a car will do.
OK, the bad jokes need to stop.
I am someone who ‘wings it’, which according to reputable website Urban Dictionary means, someone who is ‘a good improviser with little preparation’. Basically if you speak with enough authority and confidence, you will be
Donald Trump believed by anyone. And this is what I have typically done in my whole adult life. I never prepared for exams, presentations or job interviews. I trusted in myself so much that I convinced myself I could be lazy without the need for guilt.
This has now continued into my current job. I am a private English teacher. I teach in peoples homes and I teach in a school. Except, I have never studied teaching (or english, for that matter), and I have no teaching qualifications whatsoever. I have no previous experience of working with kids and I had never taught in a classroom prior to the job.
Winging it, is terrible for my mental health.
Mainly because if you were to design a strategy in life to ramp up your anxiety, winging it would be it. Secondly, when said job does not go smoothly, it makes you feel like a failure. This usually ends up in state of depression.
Today things didn’t go smoothly.
So it is a bad day, I am sick and now depressed. You can throw tired into the mix as well. I am used to the pattern by now though. I get scared enough to plan a bit more, and then things go well again. This then makes me comfortable, so I stop planning again and get scared. The cycle continues. Oh and a theory on this persistent winging it strategy? Self-Sabotage, I suspect. Spicing life up a bit, because.. well, yep, no reason at all.
*This whole anonymous thing is starting to seem more relevant than ever.
P.S This post was inspired by The BDP Informer who has started a new project called Hush Hush. It is a charitable project, whereby you anonymously admit something in one sentence and The BDP Informer will create an illustration. You can find mine here!