#37 Unqualified – ‘Winging It’

“Aeroplanes wing it” he said. It was a joke, apparently. Whilst it may sound nice, it obviously makes no sense at all – structurally or metaphorically. If there was anything to ever describe an aeroplane and its actions, winging it was not one. They’re meticulously designed and tested over many years before taking flight. I said.

It would be fair to say that if my response was an aeroplane, it wouldn’t have made it off the ground. But it doesn’t need to, because it is merely a vehicle to reach the next point, a car will do.

OK, the bad jokes need to stop.

I am someone who ‘wings it’, which according to reputable website Urban Dictionary means, someone who is ‘a good improviser with little preparation’. Basically if you speak with enough authority and confidence, you will be Donald Trump believed by anyone. And this is what I have typically done in my whole adult life. I never prepared for exams, presentations or job interviews. I trusted in myself so much that I convinced myself I could be lazy without the need for guilt.

This has now continued into my current job. I am a private English teacher. I teach in peoples homes and I teach in a school. Except, I have never studied teaching (or english, for that matter), and I have no teaching qualifications whatsoever. I have no previous experience of working with kids and I had never taught in a classroom prior to the job.

Winging it, is terrible for my mental health.

Mainly because if you were to design a strategy in life to ramp up your anxiety, winging it would be it. Secondly, when said job does not go smoothly, it makes you feel like a failure. This usually ends up in state of depression.

Today things didn’t go smoothly.

So it is a bad day, I am sick and now depressed. You can throw tired into the mix as well. I am used to the pattern by now though. I get scared enough to plan a bit more, and then things go well again. This then makes me comfortable, so I stop planning again and get scared. The cycle continues. Oh and a theory on this persistent winging it strategy? Self-Sabotage, I suspect. Spicing life up a bit, because.. well, yep, no reason at all.

Mindfump.

*This whole anonymous thing is starting to seem more relevant than ever.

P.S This post was inspired by The BDP Informer who has started a new project called Hush Hush. It is a charitable project, whereby you anonymously admit something in one sentence and The BDP Informer will create an illustration. You can find mine here!

 

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27 Comments

  1. S. Hansen

    Me too!
    My whole life is a series of events through which I have been winging it (wung should think about being a word). And I have never thought about it at all. So it wasn’t until I read the words ‘self sabotage’ in your post I realised that’s what I’m doing.
    I fear failure so if I don’t try at anything then when I fail I can blame it on the fact I didn’t really try that hard and was just winging it…
    I swear, reading your blog is like a personal revelation everyday for me.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Mindfump

      I’m all over the petition for ‘Wung’. I am exactly the same, don’try; can’t blame myself for failing. I post these things thinking people are going to be like ‘what a weird guy’… I am always pleasantly surprised when other people feel or think a similar way.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Buffy Devane

    Nice one, Mindfump… as a happy dilettante* I can sympathise… in many ways it doesn’t matter whether it’s down to self-sabotage or not… the important point (to me, anyway) is that some of the most interesting people in the world spend their times winging it, and “getting away with it”. There’s an element of necessity to it (says I.)

    By the way, when it comes to the standard social question “What do you do?” I’ve had a number of answers over the years, all of which were/are as dull as hell. But to answer in terms of avocation as opposed to job… much more interesting. 🙂 Just thought I’d shove that in.

    * i.e. happy to be one of life’s dilettantes, as opposed to one who is consistently chirpy.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mindfump

      Not going to lie Buffy, I had to Google two words in your reply. I’ll leave the viewers at home to decide what they were. I do get the impression that no one in the world really truly knows what they’re doing. And totally, ‘getting away with it’. So on point.

      Your standard social question got me thinking of my Grandmother (obviously), when I got my masters (unrelated to teaching), she said what do you want to be? My answer; ‘happy’ was not sufficient apparently.

      Love your comments as always Buffy. Even if it costs me a Google or two.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Buffy Devane

        No worries, my friend… I have to google most of my words after I post ’em to make sure I got them right (often I haven’t).

        If 2016 taught me anything, it’s that most of the “maturity” of the grown-up world is a superficial veneer, beneath which most of us are children who pretend otherwise. (Almost nihilistic of me, I know…)

        Great answer to your Gran… if I was your Grandmother, I would have applauded. (Sadly I imagine I would’ve been a quite many Gran, I’m afraid… most embarrassing.)

        Liked by 3 people

  3. Rachel Bob

    MF- I am impressed that you have managed to become an English teacher with no qualifications for it whatsoever. Winging it is a skill that many people wish they could have.

    I wung (yea I’m going to say wung) having a high school diploma for 10 years lol. I even went to University and almost got my Bachelor’s degree before I decided to go ahead and get my GED…that was more for myself to prove I could do it since clearly after 10 years the system did not care if I had graduated high school or not. Now I have my Bachelors and I’m getting my Master’s but I’m most proud of the fact that I went 10 years without having graduated high school.
    -J

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Joonas Kopponen

    I have been doing the same quite damn often! Sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t. I try to do less things in life with winging it style but often still. Maybe I’ll write post about highlights of winging it and the lows! Truly great post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Joonas Kopponen

        I have been quite exhausted and depressed. 😦 Getting back to my cheery self again though! Soon spending time with Jenni, eating icecream and watching Shameless. 🙂 Then back to reading wordpress!

        Like

      2. Joonas Kopponen

        Made me feel even better that you have missed me! 🙂 Hope it’s true, if so, even happier! Now I shall focus on being with Jenni, it’s her birthday. 🙂 Talk to you and read you later!

        Like

  5. hfcritchley

    Hey, I really identified with your post. I teach English as a foreign language and playing games is a great ‘winging it’ tactic when your class runs flat. Do ones that require a lot of speaking like Guess Who? What am I and the app Heads Up.

    Liked by 1 person

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