#39 Mania – ‘Successfully Arrived in La La Land’

Going to the cinema is not one of my favourite past times. This is not because I dislike movies or have some deep dissatisfaction for spending extortionate amounts of money on sounds and moving images*. I actually think it is down to Jesus. Well, I should clarify that by saying, any religious figure, or even any symbol in general.

You see, one area of conflict in the modern world is symbolism. We create symbols*, we build them up and we defend them. The problem arises when someone happens to have no affiliation, care, or personal connection to the symbol you hold so dear (Jesus, Manchester United, the America Flag or your new favourite movie). That same person comes along and eats crisps loudly during the tender moment, slurps their drink at the height of the tension and then makes fart noises during the sex scene.

And that is the problem of cinema for me. I really love film, so much so that each great film I watch becomes a symbol and often a catalyst for motivation, determination, inspiration and my good friend mania.

I didn’t understand mania when I was younger, so my feelings of invincibility after watching Karate Kid 3 seemed so real. Maybe it was, maybe I have wasted my potential as a ninja – we will never know*.

The mania is real right now though. I feel energetic, focused, inspired and single-minded. All my goals which lay dormant for weeks, months and years, now appear so clear and, better yet, reachable. Then there’s the old goals, my ‘getting through depression‘ goals. They’ve gone. I now laugh in the face of a goal which is to ‘wash my plate after using’. Now I feel like I am only one screen play away from an Oscar. Of course it is a screen play I haven’t written yet, but sure I can write a screenplay in a matter of weeks, no sweat.

Mania has arrived. I am in La La Land, quite literally. My, now, ex-girlfriend and I watched the movie at the cinema tonight, and of course some Austrians talked the whole way through and a woman ate kettle chips at every sad moment. Still though, I feel like I can do anything. I probably could all along, but now it seems possible. I must get started on that screenplay – Oscars are in 6 days!


*OK, that’s part of the reason.

*Sorry religious people.They are man made.

*A true ninja would never reveal themself.

Read more, its good for you.

#35 Depression – ‘The Unwinnable Game’

Submissions Wanted!

The Dress – ‘Why confidence shatters’


  1. S. Hansen

    There’s a work around for your cinema dilemma you’ll be glad to know. I saw Rogue One at 22:50 and aside from the one person I went to see the film with I was all alone with the big screen 😀
    I’m not sure you need help with the new found positivity, perhaps I should be watching La La Land…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. fensterbester

      I also do this so I don’t have to sit next to strangers (my social anxiety is totally under control).

      Watched Rogue One in 3D in the midst of total sensory overload. It was not the smartest thing I have ever done, but I believe it turned the experience into 4D – quite the adventure!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Phil Ryan

    I smiled at your ‘getting through depression goals’ (among other lines, obviously). One of mine was making the bed. The Mrs is delighted I still make it without fail but I grin gormlessly as I buff the pillows at how far I’ve come 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Joonas Kopponen

    Oh mania… The very scary ‘friend’ that can get you killed or worse, also can get things done.. Middle ground would be awesome! I feel the same often about movie theaters, here in Finlandpeople usually are very quiet though, except some laughing and crying so it’s often a good experience after all, in my experience anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

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