There are not a lot of constants in life, and after a short think you will pretty much boil them down to; ‘change’ and ‘the stupidity of man’. In my life however, there is a 3rd constant; having a headache. The humble headache is split into two categories, Primary and Secondary. Primary is the most common and least serious, and Secondary headaches are the opposite of that. 90% of headaches are Primary and approximately 22% of adults experience them. Knowledgable readers among you may have noticed that that is lower than the rate of adults experiencing a depressive episode (25%) – Who knew.
Oh, forgive me. How could I forgot the fourth constant? If you pull a silly face in the wind your face will be stuck in that position forever.
Thankfully I have never pulled a silly face in the wind, but I must have done something in my childhood to cause these constant headaches. I suspect in the future there will be a major scientific discovery that finally unravels the source of the regularly occurring headache. Could it be that I once got brain freeze whilst looking in a southerly direction on a Monday? Or maybe the constant headaches are caused if you sit on the couch upside down, head hanging over the edge, in protest at having to watch Heartbeat* – on a Sunday, when you are a child. Or just anything else that shifts the responsibility away from me as an adult.
Whatever the cause, the headaches are here now, and they are here to stay. So that brings us to the management phase.
As you know, the self-management of any illness involves checking online for symptoms, followed by an immediately unwarranted panic attack thinking you will die instantly from a brain aneurism. And this was my day. Sprinkle in a lack of productivity, and you have the full picture. I won’t be watching Heartbeat tonight though – it is Monday afterall, but I do want an ice cream. Don’t worry, I have my Anti-Brain Freeze Ice Cream Compass (ABFICC) with me to ensure I never look south when eating.
*And that was the last programme before bed, or to put it another way, the last programme before school the next day. It is a cruel, cruel world.