18th February 2001, I was right there. The King was in his castle, he was surrounded by 2 stone walls and I’d reached the Imperial Age yet again. I used the recent technological advancements to build Bombard Towers all the way around the castle, and the King was safe. That was my Age of Empires 2: The Conquerers strategy; build walls, cheat, and ultimately, protect the King. A very similar strategy to a modern day American president*.
I was always the ambitious underdog – albeit the underdog with cash cheats playing on easy mode – but the underdog nevertheless. Once I knew the King was safe, I would build a secret army away from the castle and when I say build a secret army I mean type: ‘HOW DO YOU TURN THIS ON’. That would spawn a Shelby Cobra, which I was finally able to release back into its natural habitat; the middle ages. Once I’d built up an army of Shelby Cobras and my King was entombed to a point of invincibility, my little underdog army of 20th Century sport cars equipped with the best cannons in the game, would bravely advance onto the battle field – and obliterate every thing in their path.
Although something changed. I’d entombed the King as usual. I’d spawned the cars as usual and began obliterating every settlement I came across, just like always. That is when it hit me; I’d lost interested, I monotonously and methodically won the game again. And again. And again. I didn’t enjoy it anymore.
Today was a day of disinterested and no joy.
I feel like I’ve had this day before. Wake up, work, wait for the next job, work, wait for the next job, work, go home, eat, write and sleep. I had no interest in any of that today, I’ve done that day before. I don’t know how many more of those days I want, I want more variety. I want to play Commando 2: Men of Courage, Max Payne or Command and Conquer: Yuris Revenge. Why am I playing the same game over and over again?
I’m not even that good at this game.
So I just don’t know today, the frustration has made me determined enough to change something, but I don’t know what to change. I have this rare ball of determination and I need to push it in the right direction. I feel like the ambitious underdog once again, but with no cash cheats or Shelby Cobras to clear my path to victory.
*Not going to say which one.
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