#53 Interest – ‘And The Lack There Of’

18th February 2001, I was right there. The King was in his castle,  he was surrounded by 2 stone walls and I’d reached the Imperial Age yet again. I used the recent technological advancements to build Bombard Towers all the way around the castle, and the King was safe. That was my Age of Empires 2: The Conquerers strategy; build walls, cheat, and ultimately, protect the King. A very similar strategy to a modern day American president*.

I was always the ambitious underdog – albeit the underdog with cash cheats playing on easy mode – but the underdog nevertheless. Once I knew the King was safe, I would build a secret army away from the castle and when I say build a secret army I mean type: ‘HOW DO YOU TURN THIS ON’. That would spawn a Shelby Cobra, which I was finally able to release back into its natural habitat; the middle ages. Once I’d built up an army of Shelby Cobras and my King was entombed to a point of invincibility, my little underdog army of 20th Century sport cars equipped with the best cannons in the game, would bravely advance onto the battle field – and obliterate every thing in their path.

Although something changed. I’d entombed the King as usual.  I’d spawned the cars as usual and began obliterating every settlement I came across, just like always. That is when it hit me; I’d lost interested, I monotonously and methodically won the game again. And again. And again. I didn’t enjoy it anymore.

Today was a day of disinterested and no joy.

I feel like I’ve had this day before. Wake up, work, wait for the next job, work, wait for the next job, work, go home, eat, write and sleep. I had no interest in any of that today, I’ve done that day before. I don’t know how many more of those days I want, I want more variety. I want to play Commando 2: Men of Courage,  Max Payne or Command and Conquer: Yuris Revenge. Why am I playing the same game over and over again?

I’m not even that good at this game.

So I just don’t know today, the frustration has made me determined enough to change something, but I don’t know what to change. I have this rare ball of determination and I need to push it in the right direction. I feel like the ambitious underdog once again, but with no cash cheats or Shelby Cobras to clear my path to victory.

Mindfump.

*Not going to say which one.

 

Read more, its good for you.

Thank you – Milestone Achieved!

#41 Charlie – ‘Dealing With Disappointment’

#25 Swimming – ‘That’ll Be Fun!’

 

 

Advertisements

9 Comments

  1. S. Hansen

    And there I was thinking myself a military strategy genius for coming up with this plan… not as original as I thought, damn…
    I very much feel the pain of monotony, it’s one of the things that causes my deeper depressive swings. It’s best if I don’t spend too long thinking about the life that lays ahead of me and it’s pointlessness on a cosmic scale.
    I want to suggest something really useful to push your determination into, but I just keep thinking about video games so, umm, perhaps not very helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mindfump

      One of my earliest memories as a kid is lying in bed realising after death there was nothingness forever. That equally inspires me and depresses me in equal measure. Still didn’t distract me from Age of Empires 2 though…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. S. Hansen

        There are very few things that can distract your from Age of Empires when your on a mission to dominate the known world. I think dinner is about the only thing, and even that’s only because your mum is shouting up the stairs to you…

        Like

What did you make of that then?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s