When I grew up we lived in a small 2 up 2 down terraced mining house in small town in the North East of England. But wait, it gets worse – I also had to go to bed at 7pm. To be fair though I was about 6 years old at the time*. However, as a growing northern boy I would often get hungry after I went to bed, some people might refer to this feeling as being greedy.
So what is a greedy northern 6 year old boy to do?
OK, decision made. Up I’d get, careful not to wake my brother who is about 1 meter away. Although if he did wake up it would then turn into a Spec Ops mission, of which I would need take orders for. 3 Digestives, a Wagon wheel, a Babybel and, if available, 2 packets of Dairy Lee Lunchables.
Orders in, and it was now time for the most dangerous part of the operation.
This last week or so has been my worst since blogging. You probably already know that because I have literally mentioned it every day that I’ve blogged, and being a daily blogger that means it is, well, daily. But today I come with good news! I am slowly re-emerging from this period, and beginning to test the waters of every day life once more. I don’t want to rush back into things, as it may just well be a false start, and I’ve certainly had a few of those in the past. So I start small, I try and get all the basics out of the way; laundry, showering, getting up, cooking and so on. Then it is time to try more demanding activities, I check the blog – ok, that wasn’t so bad – Let me read some blogs, ok lets try writing… and on it goes. Slowly but surely and as cautiously as you can imagine.
So here I am emerging from the darkness. My eyes are adjusting… to the bright hall lamp outside the room.
I slowly climb out of bed, and I can hear the TV downstairs – Shooting Stars, I think. So I’m not worried about noise of footsteps, but I am worried about standing on a bit of Lego barefoot and then being faced with the impossible task of concealing the pain. So there I go, avoiding the Lego, stepping over the Stretch Armstrong and out into the bright hallway.
It should be noted at this point that the layout of the house was such that you could go down the stairs and access the kitchen without having to go into the living room. Naturally had this not been the case, I would of just had to sleep at night, and who did that in the 90s?
I creep down the stairs and into the kitchen. No lights. The sitting room door was made of glass and the sudden beam of light would of given the game away. The Digestives were up high, that meant I had to climb up on the counter. I get up as quietly as possible. My brother is waiting upstairs patiently, expectantly even. I’m shimmying across to the biscuit cupboard. Then I hit a snag, unbeknownst to me there was a napkin left out on the kitchen counter, and I didn’t see it.
I step on the napkin, my foot slips off the edge and I smash my face off the side of the counter – splitting my lip in half.
Needless to say I didn’t get the loot.
And if that moment 22 years ago taught me anything, it is that when I am coming out of a particular dark period of depression; I shouldn’t rush myself. I need to look out for the Lego, look out for the napkins, keep my eyes and ears alert to potential parental movements. If I do all of this, I might just get my rewards. I’m talking Babybels, digestives, Wagon Wheels and not only that I as a little bonus I will get… Stomach ache, probably. Eating late at night is really not recommended.
*I now go to bed upwards of 8pm.
Read more, its good for you.