Brain Review: Jess

This brain used to perform like a Bugatti, but having been through the life equivalent of a multiple pile-up, it’s not doing so great.
It’s a larger model – you’ll need an impressive head circumference to fit it all in. Having said that, bits of it aren’t functioning now, and I suppose these could be removed carefully before installation, allowing those with smaller heads to give it a whirl.
Features retained include strong visual recall and a somewhat patchy memory system which works when it wants to, but sometimes needs unplugging then plugging back in again. I do this by putting a pillow over my head while lying on the sofa.
This brain is great if you want a reliable sense of direction and good powers of analysis. It won’t let you down on either of those fronts. Other intact features include a strong response to music, the ability to empathize, and a sense of fun. The user of this brain could become quite mischievous.
Unfortunately, emotional burnout and the resulting depression and exhaustion have left this brain prone to enter sleep mode at random, and processing is now somewhat disjointed. Sustained periods of concentration are a challenge.
Despite these glitches, you’ll find this brain is still at times eager to learn and communicate, and it comes with an especially rich imagination. You may need an external hard drive to boost this brain’s capacity. Somewhere to store all those future great works of literature would free up space, making daily tasks like shopping and cooking and remembering where things are a million times easier.
This brain is recommended for people with a strong creative leaning. It’s a good choice if you want to produce art, literature and poetry. Not so great if you are a scientist or mathematician, or need to remember a lot of things at once.
Regular servicing and attention to damaged areas should give this model many more years of useful service.
I give this brain three stars.


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