#72 Pain – ‘Suffering Through Depression’

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Pain is a measurable thing and there a million* different ways to measure it. The method I use is called the ‘BryFry Scale’. It based on a real person, called Bryan Fry, who has purposely got him self stung and bitten by pretty much every animal on the planet. On the Mindfump Scale of worst jobs that ranks his job 3rd, behind an apprentice Sumo wrestler, who’s job it is to wipe the backside of the senior members, and a pet food taster – someone has to do it*.

Now, given that the attention span of the modern human is less than 12 seconds and human curiosity has over taken a cats curiosity, I will tell you. It is the Box jellyfish. On the BryFry Scale, the Box Jellyfish is the most painful animal in the world.

OK, thats that out the way, on to serious business.

I would never proclaim to have a new number one to go on the list. I mean, I’ve never even been near a Box jellyfish or had to talk to Donald Trump, but I think it is safe to say we have a new entrant in the top 10.

Yesterday I was hit by a wave of depression and it hasn’t gone away, its lingering, malingering and stingering*. Add to that, a massive migraine developed during work and that means you’ve landed somewhere between a Bullet Ant bite and a lick from a Redback spider. To be an eligible entry onto the Offical BryFry scale though, you need to submit a colourful description of the pain. For example the description associated with a Stingray sting is ‘It’s venom causes mind blowing pain. It should be called a ‘give-me-a-gun-and-I’ll-shoot-myself-ray‘.

A migraine/depression combo is not so much an immediate pain, as a one which has worn you down from from the inside out. You once stood proudly like the Great Sphinx and you are now just the frumpy remains of 3 year olds overly dry pathetic excuse for a sandcastle. A sandcastle which is then stamped on repeatedly by a drunk uncle who was only invited to the beach because his brother believed it would help him recover. He doesn’t, but not only that, as a result of the jumping, he slips and knocks hot coffee, a really weak hot coffee that was strained through a sock, over your head  – thats the headache part.

I think that has earned its place on the BryFry Scale. Somewhere around 4th or 5th position would be appropriate, I don’t know if only the real Bryan Fry can induct new entrants though. I’m also not quite sure if he has had depression and a migraine at the same time before. I guess I’ll have to call him over and give him a bite. It is his job after all.

Mindfump.

*There are not a million ways to do this. 

*Literally just made that up.

*Interestingly, they don’t get animals to taste the food. 

*Just made that word up. 

 

 

Read more, its good for you. 

Why People Hide Their Mental Health Illness

#43 Social – ‘Dancing In The DMZ’

#46 Phone – ‘Missed Call from Depression’

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24 Comments

      1. Buffy Devane

        Fair point! A Scale of Scales sounds good to me, too.
        Well you’re most welcome, Mindfump… I try hard to come up with some sort of wisdom — but in the absence of that, it’s enough to provide a little solidarity, I think.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. carolynl1983

    I think that the fact that you can come up with such clever words like “stingering” while in the throes of depression (and a migraine to boot) is a huge testament to your intelligence and resiliency. So you should commend yourself on that.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. summerSHINES

    This was hilarious! I know being complimented on your blog writing skills doesn’t help with the depression and migraine though…but at least you can be depressed with a certain flair when you write about it. A ptsd friend of mine has a personal scale of fuckedupness 😁😂 I think everyone should have one!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Paul Sunstone

    I can’t imagine the pain you went though. It sounds worse than anything I’ve experienced. I am relieved to read your comment that it was all but gone yesterday morning!

    Do you get double whammies like that often, Mindfump?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mindfump

      I know it was a tough day but things are much better the last couple of days. I do seem to get a lot of headaches although migraines are much less common. I keep just hoping for a run of a few weeks without either. Is it something you have to deal with?

      Like

      1. Paul Sunstone

        Fortunately, I’ve never had a migraine. I suffered from depression, though, beginning in childhood and lasting into my late 40s, early 50s, when I finally recognized it for what it was and got myself into treatment. Last dozen years have been the best of my life. I’m so grateful for that.

        Have you found effective treatments yourself?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Mindfump

          It also took me a long time to figure it out, I’ve tried a few different things. I’ve talked about it on the blog a few times, but I travelled a lot and I’ve had the fortune/misfortune of trying lots of different systems. At the moment I don’t do anything other than try and recognise patterns of behaviour in myself. My best times have when I’ve had regular therapy. I’m so happy to hear that someone is having the best years as they’re getting older. I certainly hope that is the case for me.

          Like

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