#78 Interview – ‘Am I A Superhero?’

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Depression is very much in flux, there are ups and down, when relatively important moments come around sometimes I just have to cross my fingers and hope it is a good day. Thankfully on the day of a job interview 7 years ago there was one such day. It was an interview for an insurance company. I walk into the room and the first thing the interview said was ‘talk about yourself for 20 minutes.’

The guy stopped me after 25 minutes – ‘alright, alright, yeah we get it’.*

His second question was, ‘Are you strong?’ Theres not a lot of context there, but given my mental health, I wouldn’t consider myself to be mentally strong no. Also I wouldn’t want to completely discount my physicality, but put me in a fight to the death with three puppies, and I I reckon I’d be able to fend for myself for upwards of 4 minutes.

I said neither of those things however. Being in a confident upbeat mood I decided to recant a couple of stories in which I thought I was developing super powers. Obviously.

You see as a child I would extrapolate vast conclusions from not a lot of evidence, something I would later learn is called Trumpism. An example of this was when I was about 8. One day in school we were watching a simple science demonstration about evaporation. Three beakers; big, medium and small. The same amount of water was poured into each. The teacher asked which would evaporate the quickest, it was at this point that I confidently and bashfully guessed the big one, which was to the surprise of all my classmates, who picked the small one. The teacher then informed the class that it was I, who was in fact correct.

It was official. Science genius.

I changed schools shortly after that, and I was asked about my science acumen. I confidently stated that it was my best subject, challenge me on the science of water evaporation and you’ll see my challengers evaporate quicker than… well water in a big beaker. Needless to say guessing one question right, a scientist does not make, and I went on to fail science that year.

Around the same time I used to love riding my bike. My Dad and I would sit out in front of our house fixing it when it inevitably broke. This time it was the breaks. They had completely locked tight after removing the wheel. We couldn’t get the wheel on again unless we pulled the breaks apart. Too strong for any (mortal) man, my dad resigned immediately to go into the house to find a suitable tool. This was my moment. I set to task, and before my dad returned I’d pulled them apart and put the wheel back on. Cue my dad returning in amazement.

Now obviously superheroes typically save lives and catch burning aeroplanes out of the sky but let’s get a bit of perspective here, I was 8 years old. Back off.

You want more evidence? Ok.

The same year my school built a fence around the school, presumably because it wasn’t prison like enough already. It was a slatted fence and whilst walking along the perimeter one day with the sun behind it, I noticed flashes of Sun that would leave a reddish image in my sight for a few seconds. I didn’t know how to react to the first stages of laser sight but I figured I would let the superpower developed further before speaking to the Government.

Today I am happy, I’m in a robust mood, even a strong mood you could say. I wouldn’t say I am in a period of mania, or if I am, it is the most mundane period of mania I’ve ever had. I’m in high spirits though and I feel like I can do anything. I should preface that by saying that does not include doing laundry or other menial tasks.

I think it comes down to being myself, and that is why today reminds me of that particular interview. I really did talk about those stories in the interview and I think on many other days I wouldn’t of done, but why not? They are true and they are a reflection of me. Interviews – now that you ask – are at best superficial, so to be so comfortable with myself at that stage I know looking back I must of been feeling good. That is what is happening today, I feel good and I want to be myself, and most importantly I am being myself. Unfortunately that is not a superhero with superpowers – I did get the job though.

Mindfump.

*If there is one thing I am an expert on in the world, it is me.

Read more, it’s good for you.

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36 Comments

  1. Cassandra Stout

    I’d like to say that we all feel like this sometimes, but I’ve been informed that not everyone does. Oh, well. I do! So I feel you, and I hope your superhero days last and last.

    By the way, I love the image headers you have with each post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. desertcurmudgeon

    Some people with depression use forums like this to mope publicly. You use it to help others realize they’re not broken or alone. I laughed when I got to the part about your bicycle-related superpowers. An old skit from Monty Python’s Flying Circus called “Bicycle Repairman” showed everyone in London dressed as Superman, with corresponding muscles, capes and a big S across their chests. But if someone’s bike chain broke, all these supermen were powerless to help, so they had to call on their local superhero, Bicycle Repairman, who of course, was the only guy not dressed in a Superman outfit.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Mindfump

      You know, that is actually very true. I did think when I started this that a lot of people want to raise awareness of the issue but I believe to do that you have to draw people in. Or at least that is my aim. hahaha I love the monty python I was literally just listening to Michael Palin talking about them. Love it. Thank you for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. S. Hansen

    Another missed opportunity for that cape buddy…
    It’s like you’re reluctant to be a super hero at this point. And I’m not prepared for this situation, I trained at the Royal Academy of Sidekicks. I don’t know anyone from St Mary’s School of Random Inspirational Characters.
    But at least if you aren’t heroing you’re being yourself and that’s good enough for me 😀 Glad today is a good day for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. recoveryforallofmyheart

    i actually believe anyone who suffers from mental health is a strong person. Most people consider people with mental health issues to be “broken” but I read somewhere that you are actually being strong. Emotions can be the hardest thing we have to deal with in life. The fact that we have to deal with our emotions every day and we still survive makes us strong not broken. Even if we feel we are barely surviving, we are still here. good post by the way 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Mindfump

      What a lovely comment, and you are so right. I think people who suffer from mental health problems have to be strong. Do you think people could say that in an interview? Would be interesting to see how it worked out. And thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Lee

    Great post! I agree with the comments too. Especially the one above. If people who didn’t suffer from severe anxiety and depression, on a daily basis or long periods of time switch places with someone who did they would probably really go insane. You ARE strong. Strength is a trait many superheroes have😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mindfump

      Keep the smiles coming! I think you are right, and certainly won’t want to tell you what is and isn’t possible. Although I wouldn’t want to be the one to tell you to do it. Did you ever see the old video of that guy testing the first ever parachute off the Eiffel tower? That would discourage me.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This little mind of mine

    I enjoyed this so much, I laughed and smiled all the way through 😊😊😊

    I will also say I love the images you create, very nearly mentioned yesterday that I love your logo but decided not to (for some anxious reason or two) so here I am being bold, I LOVE YOUR LOGO 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Eric

    I like your perspectives. We are all superheroes in some way. Though my powers may evaporate the moment I wake up. It’s nice your memory is not affected by your illness. Memories can be so precious and dear.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mindfump

      I’ve heard that a few times actually, about memories. It had never occurred to me, that it could be affected by mental illness. I’m very grateful mine seem to be in tact, although I can’t remember the memories I have forgotten. Thanks for stopping by with your kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

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