#80 Depression – ‘They Found A Cure!’

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It is fair to say I have never been a major player in the ‘alternative’ medicine scene. The major stumbling block was that it doesn’t work, has no scientific basis whatsoever and takes us back by 400 years. Obviously, being a fair minded individual though, I would never discount something without trying it first.

When I was younger I found an old stack of dusty papers under my grandparents floorboards, and on them there seemed to be a recipe. It said to be effective, you need to boil a cauldron of frogs feet, a child’s tooth, a labradors arm pit and a lock of Donald Trump’s hair. The consumer of such a potion would be then be transformed. I tried it on my brother and he immediately turned into a clock, which explains why later in life, in times of hunger, he’d always go back four seconds.*

That was the moment I gave up on alternative medicine, he was supposed to turn into a frog. The recipe was rubbish. Years later though whilst visiting my grandparents brother and sisters, one of them noticed I had bags around my eyes*. She took off her wedding ring and began gently rubbing it under my eye. I wasn’t quite sure how this would help, but she reassured me and told me that it would definitely cure the bags under my eyes.

It didn’t.

Her confidence never wavered though, despite a lack of results. She always maintained the wedding ring could do things modern medicine could not. Unfortunately we never saw much of her after that, and I never knew what happened to her or the ring.

That was until today, when I noticed that the BBC reported  that a cure for depression has been found. Naturally, I’m always a little sceptical when I see headlines like that, mainly because depression is such a wide ranging illness, but also people could just be using the title for click bait…*

The detail in the article is what really grabbed me, they said a group of scientists had been sent a ring to analyse. This ring had been due to be melted down after it was sold to a jewellers, no matter what they tried it just wouldn’t melt. It baffled the scientists for weeks as all tests just showed that it was made of low grade gold. It should melt.

After weeks of analysis, one of the scientists who had suffered from mental health problems her whole life, and for the benefit of this made up story was very open about it with her employers. Her employers by the way did not judge or suppress mental health issues amongst their employees, in fact they even had mental health days when you could be off work with no questions asked. It was a very progressive work environment where the needs of the employees were put above the need for profit. That lady in question though suddenly started reporting a miraculous improvement in her mental health. It turns out that she had been holding the ring around her finger one day and got an itchy eye, and in itching her eye she rubbed the ring under her eyelid – Just like had been done to me!

The cure was been found, and from a completely unscientific, unprovable method no less.

So I admit I was wrong, wrong about alternative medicine. Not only that, I was wrong to judge my grandfathers sister in that way. It is nice to know there is a cure for depression though, I’d say it has definitely perked me up a bit, even if I have had to eat a significant amount of humble pie. I am not even a big pie person when I choose the filling, so imagine my dismay in this scenario.

Mindfump.

*Not even apologising for that one. 

*Took every bone in my body to not say a terrible joke here. Commend me in the comments. 

*I’d obviously never do that. 

 

 

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34 Comments

        1. Mindfump

          I think that is a very wise choice, having lived in the US myself I literally couldn’t watch the news. Playing on the trust people have with the BBC did make me laugh though – which seems to be my only objective at the moment.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. 1Wise-Woman

    First, let me commend you for not making a terrible joke. Second, I thought we had a pact that as soon as one of us found a cure, we were to message the other immediately! Let me know when you’re done with that ring. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. S. Hansen

    BBC is literally my only valued source of news, if it ain’t there it didn’t happen. Though also if it ain’t there it’s possible they are choosing not to report it, and not just in the cynical media cover up way. Like how they wait for permission from Buckingham Palace before announcing big Royal news.
    Anyway, I actually forgot it was April Fool’s Day so I honestly just thought you were ranting about alternative medicine and click bait…
    I read an excellent BBC news story that probably shouldn’t be news but I think is very important. Brian Cox is going to be on Postman Pat! I’m pretty sure that’s going to be the real cure for depression. I’m going to sit down, tune into Postman Pat and his black and white cat, and in will plod Professor Ryan Farrow, Brian Cox’s Greendale alias. Space and Postman Pat joining together is going to be pretty epic…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mindfump

      I’m with you on the BBC thing although to supplement my left wing bias I always read the Guardian.

      To be honest, I had a big discussion with the girlfriend about homeopathy the other day so I was close to writing a post about it. Maybe this seeped out in my subconscious.

      If Brian Cox is Postman Pat, the world is good again. Although that may be an april fools? Heres hoping it is not.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Paul Sunstone

    You didn’t have me fooled for a minute! Well, ok, you had me fooled until I got to the part, “It was a very progressive work environment where the needs of the employees was put above the need for profit.” A dead give-away!

    Like

    1. Mindfump

      hahah, nothing gets past you Paul! I would also like to extend my apologies. I have just gone through my spam and for some reason about 4 of your comments were in there (along with a few other peoples). I’m now going back through them all and replying. Your future comments shouldn’t end up there! Love your enthusiasm for the blog.

      Like

  4. loubyjo

    being really honest think depression is word over used people say they are depressed when perhaps just having a down day i kind of get annoyed when certain newspapers find cures for stuff like being diabetic without mentioning their is two types and stating obvious like healthy diet help sos gone off the subject bit !!

    Like

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