#81 Tired – ‘You Could Find A Diamond!’

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Now this is not intended as a brag, but I have been tired before. I have, I swear. And this is largely my own doing, I’m a self made tired person. Naturally though being the modest person I am, I like to blame attribute my success to other things and other people. Some people also refer to this as ‘complaining’ or ‘moaning’. Although it must be said that today is an exception to that rule, I haven’t done either of those things, not even once –  it is only 7pm as I write this though, so don’t count your metaphorical chickens.

When I was at college in my late teens I was studying fine art, a subject I liked a lot. Being lazy a man of artistic integrity, I only drew, or painted when I felt inspired. Coincidently I would always seem to get really inspired around deadlines. My art teachers were not impressed with my approach and we developed a fractious student-teacher relationship.

It was 3 days before a deadline and I decided I better start getting inspired, and so began a 78 hour art session in which I did not sleep. I never emerged from my room, other than to go to the bathroom or grab food. Now, I know there is a trove of people out there who will say that people work best under pressure or that great things are created under pressure. In fact Diamond, the hardest and most sort after mineral on the planet is created under pressure.

Those people who claim this are wrong.

Well, the geologists are right. Diamonds are created under great pressure, but not in an insignificant amount of time. Which is something I did not have at that time. I submitted what can only be described as a piece of Gypsum*. Rather aptly the class after submission of my art portfolio was psychology, and the topic of the day was sleep deprivation. Something you can die from, I later learned.

You may be surprised to hear though that I didn’t die.

Today I am very tired, I don’t particularly have any inspiration and depression is no where to be seen. There are no deadlines and no Gypsum to be mined. Though like times gone by, my tiredness is of my own doing. I have been going through a phase of mania, or so I think. I have not been wanting to sleep, I just want to do more, see more and read more.

It can sometimes be hard to tell if you are in a period of mania. Although I do think when you’re sat up at 3:00am trying to learn, and practice the lyrics to Ode to Joy in Beethoven’s 4th movement of the 9th Symphony with no prior knowledge or interest of classical music, you can begin to suspect you might be not in a neutral state.

Sleep is massively in need tonight, although I suspect I will suddenly have an interest in the navy tactics used during the Battle of Lepanto, or feel that the time is right to dip my toe into Peri-Glacial Phenomena research in the Arctic. If you wake up tomorrow to find out my blog has been retitled ‘The Road To Trombone Mastery’, you will know why.

Eine heitre Abschiedsstunde, Suessen Schlaf im Leichentuch!


*8th Strongest mineral in the world. 

Read more, it’s good for you

The Problem With Feminism

Always There: A Stranger and Mindfump.

The Problem With Inspirational Quotes


  1. LiteraryFuzz

    Perhaps the most shocking twist in a blog post to date — that the author is still alive at the time of writing! In all seriousness, though, I can totally relate to this. There is always something interesting and *definitely* worthy of my time when I should be otherwise sleeping.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. lonlon558

    I find this a humorous post as I can identify very well with the manic desire to KNOW EVERYTHING and RIGHT NOW! That urgency that keeps you roaring right along at 80 in a 35 mph zone.

    In fact, I’m sheepish to say this, because I know where it often leads me, but I do love those moments of mmmm-mania. Because as much as I feel deep depression, I feel ecstatic static-electric mania and it is a welcome reverse to the polar opposite of itself.

    However, there’s a warning label attached to those moments (though I’m unaware of it while in The Moment) that the high I’m flying on will only inevitably drop and land me in the muck. And the muck is as heavy and thick as the high was free and light and seemingly infinite.

    Therefore, because I know the consequences, I will always choose a steady stable when given the option.

    (The catch is that my brain rarely offers me the option to be steadily stable.)

    Peace. I hope you are able to sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mindfump

      I’m really happy to hear you enjoyed it! Thankfully I managed to get some sleep and my blog is still called Mindfump. So all it well haha. I agree though give me a stable option for a while that would be nice, not sure it’s possible for long periods or it seems that way anyway.


  3. bipolarsojourner

    a little know fact: the diamond industry’s marketing has it wrong, diamond aren’t forever. since they are created under such intense heat and pressure, they are extremely fragile. diamonds have and expected lifetime from the time they escape their heat and pressure of about 3000 years. so, if your diamond popped up 2999 days, 364 days*, tomorrow you’ll have a small pile of simple carbon. little know geologic fact countering the diamond industry’s marketing.

    * okay since it’s about 3000 years, maybe your diamond won’t fall apart tomorrow.

    Liked by 2 people

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