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Now this is not intended as a brag, but I have been tired before. I have, I swear. And this is largely my own doing, I’m a self made tired person. Naturally though being the modest person I am, I like to
blame attribute my success to other things and other people. Some people also refer to this as ‘complaining’ or ‘moaning’. Although it must be said that today is an exception to that rule, I haven’t done either of those things, not even once – it is only 7pm as I write this though, so don’t count your metaphorical chickens.
When I was at college in my late teens I was studying fine art, a subject I liked a lot. Being
lazy a man of artistic integrity, I only drew, or painted when I felt inspired. Coincidently I would always seem to get really inspired around deadlines. My art teachers were not impressed with my approach and we developed a fractious student-teacher relationship.
It was 3 days before a deadline and I decided I better start getting inspired, and so began a 78 hour art session in which I did not sleep. I never emerged from my room, other than to go to the bathroom or grab food. Now, I know there is a trove of people out there who will say that people work best under pressure or that great things are created under pressure. In fact Diamond, the hardest and most sort after mineral on the planet is created under pressure.
Those people who claim this are wrong.
Well, the geologists are right. Diamonds are created under great pressure, but not in an insignificant amount of time. Which is something I did not have at that time. I submitted what can only be described as a piece of Gypsum*. Rather aptly the class after submission of my art portfolio was psychology, and the topic of the day was sleep deprivation. Something you can die from, I later learned.
You may be surprised to hear though that I didn’t die.
Today I am very tired, I don’t particularly have any inspiration and depression is no where to be seen. There are no deadlines and no Gypsum to be mined. Though like times gone by, my tiredness is of my own doing. I have been going through a phase of mania, or so I think. I have not been wanting to sleep, I just want to do more, see more and read more.
It can sometimes be hard to tell if you are in a period of mania. Although I do think when you’re sat up at 3:00am trying to learn, and practice the lyrics to Ode to Joy in Beethoven’s 4th movement of the 9th Symphony with no prior knowledge or interest of classical music, you can begin to suspect you might be not in a neutral state.
Sleep is massively in need tonight, although I suspect I will suddenly have an interest in the navy tactics used during the Battle of Lepanto, or feel that the time is right to dip my toe into Peri-Glacial Phenomena research in the Arctic. If you wake up tomorrow to find out my blog has been retitled ‘The Road To Trombone Mastery’, you will know why.
Eine heitre Abschiedsstunde, Suessen Schlaf im Leichentuch!
*8th Strongest mineral in the world.