#93 Decisive – ‘Should I Stay Or Go?’

Being a young guy with a nice childhood and zero traumatic events, I am not used to serious dilemmas. The kind of dilemmas I am usually faced with are things such as; which pizza toppings to get, or whether to hold the door open for some one who is slightly too far away. In short, I’ve had things easy. Yes I have had to decide on past relationships or travelling but even still, things have been easy.

Having said that, I did have one particularly difficult year was younger. It was Christmas and I was given a Faithless album and a Linkin Park album. I had to decide which one to listen to first on the family stereo stack. I don’t think my family were that keen on either, but I had a window of opportunity where I could impress them with my music taste, it was small window admittedly, but I eventually put all my eggs in Linkin Park’s basket.

It was the wrong choice. Although in hindsight I think I was on a hiding to nothing.

Today I am faced with a serious dilemma and a meaningful one. My Gran has been sick in hospital for the last 3 days now and given the severity of the stroke and heart attack, things are not looking promising. The dilemma I have been faced with is whether to cut the trip in Ireland short and head over to Scotland to see her – possibly for the last time.

It seems obvious, but given that after Scotland I then need to fly back to Vienna and would then need to return for a potential funeral makes things financially and practically more challenging. Should I wait for an eventual outcome, good or bad? And then fly out later? Or should I go now and then potentially come back again in a week or so? The trip to Scotland would also be long, a near 12 hour bus from Dublin to Glasgow, leaving at 3am tonight. No sleep and straight to the hospital.

The return is no better, because of money and flight times I need to leave at 6am on Sunday. That gives me less than 24 hours in Scotland. All day I have thought about the outcomes, and whether it is too stupid or too optimistic to think I can just see her when she’s better. Or worse, just wait to go to a funeral.

The decision is made.

I leave Limerick in the next couple of hours to be in Dublin for 3am. I travel on the bus across the sea and into Scotland, to then go straight to the hospital. I will be tired and, I won’t be there long, I may have to get back to Scotland again in a week or so, and I may have no money for a good while, but I will see my Gran. Something I may never have the chance to do again. Theres no dilemma.

I will go to give her the love and respect she deserves, and who knows, maybe if she does turn things around she may even give Linkin Park a second chance. Or I could just lead with Faithless this time.


Read more, its good for you.

#91 Perspective – ‘Social Anxiety’

#92 Pre-occupied – ‘The Waiting Game’

Dealing With Failure


  1. TracyEllen Carson Webb

    Great news about your Gran feeling better! Sending positive thoughts and prayers that she continues to improve! Reading today I realized that there’s a bus that goes over water between 2 islands. The things people learn by paying attention. Yes, I did google it to make sure it could be done.

    Liked by 1 person

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