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If you haven’t seen the movie Signs then you’re welcome to go back and watch it before dismissing it as a load of nonsense. Alternatively don’t watch it, and dismiss it as a load of nonsense to save time*. For those that don’t know, the movie is about these aliens that come to Earth with unknown intentions. Not only that, but they decide to visit Mel Gibson – worthy of a trans-galaxy investigation all of its own.
Before the aliens come though they leave signs. That is why the movie is called Signs, because they leave signs. It is a sign. Hollywood has never been one for subtly or subtext, rather like the characters in Top Gun, who were called Maverick and Iceman. One was a maverick pilot, the other was a prehistoric frozen male human person.
Anyway, so they leave these signs.
I spotted a sign today, not for aliens, but for depression. It is not a major one, and I even think a few years ago it not something I would have picked up on. I am older and wiser now though, so it is easier to spot. Lack of productivity. I woke up early to speak to a neighbour and then went to get my broken phone fixed – so far so productive. I did have a 4 hour window in which to do the mountain of other things I need to, however I just didn’t. Couldn’t, even.
Now, not having a productive day does not mean I will be depressed, in the same way that a crop circle in Kent doesn’t mean aliens are about to invade the UK, regardless of what UKIP would have you believe. The lack of productivity is a sign though, and one I should be wary of. I think the only line of combat is to wake up tomorrow and engineer the productivity, brute force it. Get stuff done.
Mind you, even if the depression did come like the aliens, I do hope it is as dimwitted and ill thought out as the alien invasion in Signs. After invading Earth – a planet made up of 71% water, with an atmosphere that is also 4% water – it is eventually revealed that the aliens are poisoned by… yep, water. Oh spoilers by the way.
So that means these super intelligent beings flew millions of light years and galaxies and did absolutely zero research about the planet they would invade. I’ve seen a few science documentaries and the scientists on there can tell me the exact composition of an atmosphere of a planet which consists of only 4 pixels on a screen. That is the kind of depression I want. The one that labours its way into my brain, jumps around in some bushes and then realises ‘oh no, I’m allergic to oxygen, brain tissue and human blood’.
*Riff on an old Stewart Lee joke, and by ‘riff’ I mean stolen exactly.