#114 Saturday – ‘She Is Gone’

On the 11th of March this year it was Mothers day in the UK, and that is where my mother is, so I play by those rules. Austria would give me another couple of months preparation into the year, but you have to play the hand you’re dealt. As I have lived abroad and far away from my parents for years, there is a fairly well trodden path of familiarity when it comes to mothers day. I call her, she grovels about the commercialism of it’s all, how she dislikes cards and that she has bought herself some perfume from me. All in all, Mothers Day, lasts about 20 minutes for me.

All in all, a pretty pathetic effort on my part.

This year was a little different though. I scheduled in the call to my mother as usual, but also, I decided to spontaneously call both of my grandmothers as well. I am terrible at keeping in contact at the best of times but with the previous generation I am as guilty as charged.

My grandmothers are different characters, very different in fact. I didn’t get to see the contrast back to back though, as one of them didn’t answer the phone. My mums mum did answer however, and in what was probably the shortest conversation I’ve ever had with her; it summed her up perfectly.

I said ‘Hello, its Paul, happy Mothers Day!’ and before she finished her sentence, and before I could start another sentence, she had both thanked me and simultaneously wished me well, and said goodbye. This is the thing with Gran, she is very much in to the thought rather than the thing. The fact I had called had made her day, her week even. The conversation didn’t need to go on for her to be able tell her friends.

For a lady who had a very tough life in the worst areas of Glasgow, and who lost her sight at a relatively young age, a grandson calling from abroad was a thing to be proud of. Something I take for granted, she takes pride in, not only does she take more pride in it that I do, she isn’t even the one doing it.

I need to change the tense of that last paragraph, but it still seems too sudden, that is because it saddens me to say that my Gran passed away today. That phone call on Mothers Day was the last time I properly spoke to her. Her pain is over and may she rest in peace. I just hope she realised how much we loved her and will continue to love her.

Paul Green.


  1. summerSHINES

    I never know quite what to say in these situations…it must be a weird time. Weber we have had a death in the family it has just felt weird…a weird atmosphere that is very uncomfortable. Take all the time you need to get back up to your equilibrium. You will settle. Look after yourself and go with the flow 😚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. summerSHINES

        Accept that feeling weird is where you’re currently at. Grief gets through your system in its own way and it’s different reactions and feelings from every individual. Human instinct protects you and keeps you safe, so go with it. Sending virtual hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. ibizagoldgirl

    I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandmother and what a lovely post/memory to share. So many of us have a way with words here on WP but nothing compares to hearing a voice from afar with a heartfelt greeting. Thank you for sharing and I send you love & light through these difficult times. Stay strong my friend and keep writing

    Liked by 1 person

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