#115 Weird – ‘Sadness Is Not Depression’

Flight of the Navigator. There’s two things that resonate when I think of that movie. Firstly of my childhood; sitting up until maybe 9 or even 10pm on those rare, but special occasions. As a child there is something mythical about the post bedtime phase of the day, and for some reason staying up to watch Flight of the Navigators was one such occasion. I loved that movie, but a quick search just showed that it got 6.7 on IMDB. Given my immovable desire to agree with others it means I can’t like it anymore*.

The second Flight of the Navigators resonation* comes in the form a conversational saver, changer, boy in a manger. You know when a conversation rolls into the area of disinterest, where one person is talking but everyone else is losing interest? Or when the conversation just starts dying a death and everyone can see it gliding to an awkward standstill, everyone can see it, but everyone seems powerless to prevent it? So everyone just looks at the floor and pretends to chuckle at a previous moment. After a deep sigh and a wide-eyed look around it is time to drop in the secret signal though; ‘Sooooo, anyone seen Flight of the Navigator then?’

It was a running joke, and one I must say that sounds way funnier in real life. But it broke the awkwardness and if nothing else provided a real chuckle. You’re welcome to it.

Today is a ‘Sooooo, anyone seen Flight of the Navigator then?’ moment.

Having never experienced a death in the family before, I was not sure what to expect from myself emotionally. As it turns out, there has been mixed emotions. Sadness is there for sure, I’m sad for my family. There is also guilt, not that I wasn’t there, but that I don’t feel upset, and I haven’t cried. The only way I can truly sum my mood up is one of disinterest.

All of the small things* have dissipated into even smaller, more insignificant things. This sudden disinterest in work, money, blogging, or anything in between has left me in immediate limbo. I was worried the sadness for my family would drop me into a depressive state, but if anything it has just proved to me that depression is not sadness and that depression, is in and of itself. Disinterest it is then.

Soooo, anyone seen Flight of the Navigator?

Mindfump.

*I have zero desire to agree with anyone ever, even now, whatever you’re thinking, I disagree. 

*You could not even imagine my surprise when spell checker didn’t come up with a squiggly line for that one. It is a real word. 

*Thank you Blink 182

P.S I would like to say a big thank you for all the kind messages on Facebook, Twitter and on the blog. It means a lot and reaffirms how many cool people I have met on here. 

P.S.S As for the project ‘PersonifyME’ it is still running and thank you to everyone for all the submissions so far. My mood has been such that I haven’t wanted to do anything. All entries will go up eventually though. 

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27 Comments

  1. S. Hansen

    I wouldn’t worry about it, everyone deals with death differently. My siblings and I made jokes at my grandfather’s funeral… I mean we tried to be discreet because we figured no one else would think it was appropriate but it still happened.
    We never cried. The closest I came was trying to hold back laughter during my mother’s eulogy for him… she did not get the tone right and the choice of words had me in stitches. Uh, it started roughly like
    ‘That is not my father.’ *points to coffin*
    ‘That is the cold shrivelled up remains of his body.’
    And that was apparently after my autistic dad told her it could do with toning down a little…
    Reading this comment back I realise my sense of humour may be darker than black…
    Essentially what I’m saying is, you do you, don’t worry about everyone else.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mindfump

      hahah, your mum has the subtly of my Grandmother, who once told my mums friend that she didn’t want to meet her new baby because she raised three of them and know what they look like. I think we are not too dissimilar Hansen, in a good way. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. cb

    Yes, I have seen Flight of the Navigator. It is actually one of my favorite movies. Have not seen it in years. When I think of Sara Jessica Parker, I don’t think of Sex in the City, I think of her pink hair and the discussion about Twisted Sister. That and Pee Wee Herman as the voice of the ship. “COMPLIANCE”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Discoveries Amid Chaos

    After recently losing a friend to cancer and then my grandpa dying about two weeks ago, I have found that grief is a strange and tricky thing. It’s okay to feel whatever you feel. Give yourself the time and the space that you need.

    Like

  4. Alex R Carver

    Flight of the Navigator was a great film, I really wanted one of those ships when I was younger (I’d still quite like one now) and I much preferred Sarah Jessica Parker in her teen films than her later stuff.

    I’ve had several deaths in the family over the last 3/4 years and each has hit me differently, and in surprising ways. The ones I would have expected to leave me upset I’ve been indifferent to but the ones I should have been indifferent to have knocked me for six; there’s been no logic to it.
    Add in a recent health-scare with my mum and I’ve been feeling a lot like you are at the moment, indifferent and struggling to do things. I have a couple of projects I started recently and now can’t find the energy or the enthusiasm to continue with them, though I want to.

    I hope that in a little while you’re able to shake things off and resume normal operations, so to speak.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mindfump

      Sorry to hear you have had to deal with this way regularly than I have. I hope your mum is ok too, these things are tough man. I sincerely hope you get back into your projects, the death of my Gran certainly taught me that I don’t want to go whilst saying I wonder what would have happened if..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Alex R Carver

        Thanks, Mindfump, having gone through these things has made me more determined to make a living from my writing. It’s not easy, and I know it will take time, but I don’t want in years to come to regret not following my dream.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Mindfump

          Exactly Alex, I’m the same. Failure is nothing to me anymore. I just want to keep going and keep trying. You will get there, especially given how much you’re willing to put in. I’ll be right there beside you succeeding or failing haha

          Like

  5. Mrs. Rewitae

    This made me remember few things. First, (probably my moment of soo anyone seen.. ) the movie inside out, where sadness is a character that you need it in your life at the end of the day and I thought that was an amazing mesaage. Second, I think dealing with loss of a loved one, even just thinking about it, is a different process for everyone. Especially I was intrigued by in how many ways condolences to the deceased parents and friends could be given in different languages, and there is certainly a cultural effect. In a region of my home country, a death of loved one is mourned through few days and during that time the deceased home and a seperate place called the condolance house is full of people who brings food and deal with death together. And these people visit cemetery each week and on holidays. In another region, the deceased is buried while all the people who knew him is there to pray and support the family and condolance giving part ends with it. Loss is a strange thing that makes me think a lot each time I think about it.
    I enjoyed reading your posts with colorful and creative images, I am new around here, hope I can write over 100 posts like you do and still having the passion 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mindfump

      Loving the comment – thank you. I am starting to realise dealing with the loss of a loved one is very strange indeed, it has been really odd. Really interesting to see how others deal with it, it all seems so drag in the UK. You will certainly be over 100 posts in no time! Keep going and never give up.

      Like

  6. ibizagoldgirl

    Compliance! Hahahaha!
    It’s not even a funny film, it’s sad, it’s dark and lonely in places but it’s cool and everything turns out fine in the end. Q: would you like to be my little bro as you’re waaaay cooler than mine! (Say yes, say yes!)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. thethingswehideinside

    I don’t know if this will make you feel better or not, but when someone close to me, or not close to me, I don’t get sad. I don’t deal with it in any way. It’s like they just cease to exist. It’s someone we just don’t see anymore. My counselor tells me it’s a form of avoidance- probably. But it’s me.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Buffy Devane

    Good afternoon Mindfump,
    Firstly, I’m very sorry for your loss… but I am sure that, after the sadness has subsided, what will strongly remain is the love and admiration you had for your Gran.
    With my own grandmother (the one I was closer to), I still think fondly on her great warmth and wisdom… mixed as it was with salty expletives and whisky. Marvellous lady.
    Thirdly, I want to be in a nice, sleek spaceship travelling at high speed whilst listening to the Beach Boys’ “I Get Around”. One day….

    Like

  9. insidemyhead42

    Don’t know you, but sending hugs! Also available for dark inappropriate humor…it’s my fave method of coping. Tho I’ve learned it’s a dangerous method to use if you’re in a psych ward….psych ward staff rarely have senses of humor. 😉
    Hang in there! And do what you gotta do….f*&$ anyone that says otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. chattykerry

    Grief is different for everyone. I still feel guilty for mentally stepping back when my beloved Nana died when I was 13. For me it was self-protection but when I am depressed I am unable to feel deeply.
    On a positive note, most of us expect our grandparents to die. Did you ever see the Dinosaurs program when they all took their elderly dinosaur parents to the tar pits at a certain age? Our society seems to think we will be immortal but I am sorry for your loss and hope you have nice memories of her.

    Like

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