#116 Bothered – ‘When Your Brain Says No’

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I‘ve been bothered all day today, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from teaching English the last couple of years it is that the word ‘bothered’ can put you in all sorts of bother. And as life would have it, I have been every kind of bothered today.

Firstly, I really can’t be bothered, I have no enthusiasm or motivation to do anything. I’ve been floating around my day like a plastic bag in a light breeze. Even my subconscious doesn’t want to know, it’s like school in the summer. Nothing is happening. Normally I get nagged by my subconscious to do things like chores and to go to work at the right time. But my subconscious couldn’t be bothered either.

Naturally that put me in a spot of bother as at 2:20 I got a phone call from school saying I should be teaching a lesson. I took it as a compliment that they thought me being in school with the kids was in any way beneficial to them. Me being in bother with the school, who were bothered, didn’t actually bother me much, because I just couldn’t be bothered. To be honest, I was fed up*.

I did labour my way into school, by which I mean sprinted down the street for a tram. Normally this spectator sport is one I enjoy, but being the competitor rather than the spectator today wasn’t fun. Not least because I have two stress fractures in my shins. Doctors advice was to not walk for 4 months, otherwise I’d break both my legs. We never discussed running for trams but I will take it as implied that that is also not to be done.

I’m relieved to find out that I can be bothered to write though. It was by no means certain, as my enthusiasm for everything has dropped. I do think the regularity of the blog forces me to; one, confront my thoughts and feelings and two, actually do something with my day. Both things have been beneficial in this instance. So the blog, unlike the last couple of days, has not been a bother.

Mindfump.

*Strangely fed up does not mean to have eaten lots of food.

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26 Comments

  1. S. Hansen

    I found the time to bother to read your blog post. And I felt quite bothered by your bothersome bother.
    I myself have been in a state of can’t be bothered for most of the past 3 days. But I did bother to do some work on a portfolio that would be a bother if unfinished.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Paul Sunstone

    Something must really be going around. I just started coming out of a three or four day bit of it yesterday. Just a whiff of the depressions I used to have some years ago, but enough to leave me listless and apathetic.

    Liked by 1 person

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