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There is a girl of rage that sits within me. She has become like a caged animal, for I do not let her speak, and it infuriates her. She storms around her cell, screaming, swearing, punching, kicking. She’s out of control, so I must control her.
She’s the one that contains all of the abuse, the pain, the anger. For years she’s taken it silently, she never fought back, she didn’t know how. But there’s only so much you can take, before finally, you snap. She has snapped, and she is full of vengeance.
As I keep my mouth shut, it is like I feel her fists banging on the back of my teeth to open up and let her out. Like a dragon desperate to breathe its fire. My body is the cage, and I feel her rage beat me from within, determined to find a weak spot, and exit. Her sheer energy fuels my body as she tries to gear me up for battle. Controlling her is exhausting when she wakes, but control her I must.
Most of the time she is calm, but she is a bomb that can be disturbed without warning. She’s a burden to carry, but I must carry her, until she heals, and knows that our world is safe now.