158 // Breaking Traditions

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It is currently 2017 A.D. Now, I originally thought that meant ‘After Death’, as in, after the death of Jesus Christ Superstar. Turns out that is not the case, it represents his birth and is actually an abbreviation of the latin words ‘Amno Domini’, which I think was the name of the man who founded the famous Dominos Pizza chain*. Before that time though the era is referred to as ‘B.C’, which means ‘Before Christ’. However, given the rigour by which Christianity was founded, they managed to get his birth year wrong. So in fact, Jesus was born in the year 4 B.C – historically speaking this means he was born 4 years before he was born.

So the Christians got off to a bad start, but at least in the following 2000 years they have managed to established themselves as a credible source of historical fact*.

Fast forward 34 years though, to Friday March 22nd 30 A.D and Jesus is in a bad spot, the worst in fact. He is dead, in a tomb. It wasn’t a surprise however, as the author of the Bible decided to foreshadow a little and mess with the literary form of that time. He revealed his fate early.

In the book – The Bible – whilst Jesus is preparing for his death, his disciple Paul says ‘Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast’. Now, this is actually a reference to the ‘Parmesan Crisis’ in Italy between 23-30 A.D. Yeast has a similar consistency to Parmesean cheese and was used as a substitute during the shortages, and what Paul was saying to Jesus is; ‘I’ve heard cheese makers in Bologna and Parma have hired extra staff to remove stresses in the supply chain of Parmesean cheese, so when you’re back from the dead you won’t have to have the yeast substitute on your Carbonara anymore.’

Jesus was relieved.

He was also relieved for other reasons, because on Sunday the 24th of March 30 A.D he rose from the dead and was able to have Parmesan cheese on his Carbonara – although out of respect for his Dad all shops were closed on Sunday, so he had to wait another day, much to his annoyance.

So it has been 11 days since I posted anything on the blog, which is impressive given that I posted 251 times in the previous 147 days. Obviously Jesus only managed 3 days away*, and as far as I’m aware he was very inconsistent with his blog posts, but that doesn’t make me better than him – regardless of what you may think. But I am back and like Jesus, I am here to spread the word, although I should point out that my word isn’t about my Dad*. Its more about mental health and, well, cheese apparently. But the bottom line is I will be back into the swing of things from today, and posting every day.

When presented with a lack of information us humans love nothing more than to apply our own meaning and projections onto things. Such as using the words of Paul to extrapolate the information regarding the little known but devastating Parmesan cheese crisis in Italy between 23-30 A.D. Something which is actually no less true than the rest of that chapter in The Bible. So please make of my 11 day absence as you wish, and if you want to create a 2000 year old chocolate egg tradition in my honour, I would not complain.

Paul Green

*Not entirely sure. 

*Sarcasm there. 

*More like 1 full day and a half a day, if we are being honest.

*Although my Dad is great.

P.S Thanks for all the lovely messages I recieved in my absence – I apologise if I haven’t yet got back to you.




Read more, its good for you.

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Why People Hide Their Mental Health Illness

Why Choice Is Not Always Good For Your Mental Health



    1. Paul Green

      Thank you! It is good to be back. Gone are the days of chronological numbers, this is the new era of the short form date. Each daily post will have the date, and any post without the date will be something I have put more than 1 hours effort into. Change for change’s sake as its known.


  1. Iggy

    I’m glad you were gone. And please, don’t take that the wrong way. What I mean by that is, I was away for a week, and I haven’t caught up on all my blogs I read yet, and from what I have read, I didn’t see anything from you. So, in short, I’m just glad I didn’t miss anything from you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. desertcurmudgeon

    We could start a new calendar that begins 11 days ago, marking the dawn of your blogging hiatus. And why not? When L. Ron Hubbard croaked in 1986, David Miscavige broke the news to his new Scientology underlings that L. Ron Hubbard, on 24th January in the year 36 A.D. gave up his body and is continuing his research in an “exterior state”. There are 2 interesting things about this announcement. 1) Hubbard didn’t die, of course, because a person who has achieved the state of “clear” is immortal. 2) A.D. in this case does not stand for Anno Domine. It stands for “After Dianetics”, the incomprehensible tome of nonsense that Hubbard published in 1950. If a calendar can start at the publication of a terrible book, I see no reason why we can’t re-start one at the commencement of your blogging break.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul Green

      You know, there are good idea and there are good ideas. THIS is a good idea. But for authenticity we should start it about 15 days ago. And for narcissistic reasons the abbreviation will just be my initials 15 P.G

      Liked by 3 people

  3. ejb117

    After only discovering your blog a few weeks ago, I did wonder if all was well when I stopped receiving email notifications of new posts! Pleased to see you’re back with yet more evidence of a wonderfully quirky sense of humour! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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