174 // Why Am I Not Successful Yet?

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First day of school was never a surprise, and by that I mean you had 6 or 7 weeks over the summer to plan for it, you knew it was coming. Despite this knowledge though my relaxed summer attitude didn’t change that much, that was until about 3 days before the start of school, I’d suddenly realise I needed a school uniform, books, pens and shoes. Why would I plan? I had too many episodes of GamesMaster to watch, which in hindsight was rather ahead of its time*.

So the day quickly arrives, you rush to buy all of these things and then what? Well, not a lot really. There is the obligatory moment when 1,200 children simultaneously realise they don’t know how to write anymore. Then theres the teachers reluctance to actually do anything that requires any real work. So, all the previous years rumours and scaremongering of ‘oh next year is real tough, real, real tough real great job‘ instantly dissipates. It is a day of nothing.

In the run up to Ireland there was talk of all sorts of possibilities. Things we want to do, would like to do, will do, might do, and everything in between. There were things like; jobs, moving to a new house, renovating a house, buying a house, freelance writing, opening a studio, publishing a book, buying a car and the list went on.

I arrived today and you may be surprised to find out that I don’t have a job, or a new house, I haven’t renovated one, or bought one, I haven’t written anything or published anything, and I don’t have a car. Day one patch? Well no. It was all a bit anti-climatic.

You, see what happened is, I realised like with school, all the thoughts and ideas about the coming year will entail were condensed into one day; the move in day or the start of school, or the first day of the rest of your life. I arrived and wanted to swing everything into action, all these plans and ideas were ready to go, but naturally they don’t happen immediately. Plus I’m extremely ******* exhausted a little tired.

The majority of you out there will be saying, ‘yes, we know this, of course it doesn’t all happen on one day’. And to you people I say ‘sshh, lets see who can be quiet the longest’.

So the day was just a dipping of the toe. Not really doing anything of great value for the greater cause, but just seeing what is what; learning to write again, covering workbooks with wrapping paper* and breaking ice. Tomorrow though, expect to hear from a published best selling author with their own writing studio at the back of their newly renovated house which is only accessible with their newly purchased car.

Paul Green

*It was a TV show in the UK entirely dedicated to new video games and celebrity guests would come and play video games. Basically YouTube with really famous people. The BBC axed the show though because they didn’t see a future in the video games industry. No demand. 

*Was that just in my school?

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  1. S. Hansen

    A school I went to banned putting wrapping paper on books. Something to do with too much individuality I think…
    I honestly don’t remember why they banned it, it didn’t really work because then tippex art started. Then they foolishly gave kids books with plastic covers on so me teacher could find a whiteboard marker because all the kids nicked them to draw on their own personal whiteboard books…

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Buffy Devane

    Gosh, “GamesMaster”… if memory serves, Sir Patrick Moore in terrifying form as the eponymous “Master”? Of course, that was the same time as I was also covering school books with wrapping paper… horrible, dark days of the soul, the were (not because of GamesMaster, though).
    I’m looking forward to a Mindfump-penned book, I must say. Indeed, I seem to recall suggesting such a thing some time ago, so I’m very glad it’s happening! And of course I can then sit in the pub, reading it whilst sipping brandy, and telling people about “my chum the top author.” Marvellous. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Paul Green

      I looked up the guest they had for the show as well, and for the 1990s they were A listers, it was rather impressive. And to even get Sir Patrick Moore as the demi-presenter.

      As for the book, I wouldn’t get too excited it won’t be anything you haven’t seen before. The 2nd book will be slightly more interesting – especially for people who read the blog regularly.

      Top author, now theres a phrase I’ll never hear said about me again – screenshotted.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Buffy Devane

        Admittedly the usual GamesMaster audience (as I imagine them) were well in advance of my Spectrum 48K experience… which is the level of gaming sophistication I froze at, I think(!) But yes, the guest list is certainly impressive from what I can see (Ronnie O’Sullivan way back in 1993… yowser).

        Ah, well I’m glad you’re thinking in terms of more than one book, though… most encouraging. 😉 Haha I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to the phrase “top author” in the near-future, mon ami. So there. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Paul Green

          Although in fairness all those celebrities were in their infancy so who knows. Everyone who managed a brain review on my blog may turn out to be future stairs. Then there will be some kid writing in 20 years time saying Mindfump had it going on back then.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. annastransformation

    So, I’m just starting out my transition from male to female (transgender person here-I won’t cough so no worries on catching it 🙂 ) I had that first day moment…and now the anti-climax has taken over. I’m also an educator. That first day of school piece…t Thanks for the smile.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul Green

      I can imagine! That is such a long process, but the decisions making time it condensed into a yes or no. Well, you’re on the path now and the real moment will come when you can finally be the person you want to be. Good luck with it all, and I hope you get everything you want from it.


    1. Paul Green

      Ah certainly not rich enough. Money has no power here 🙂 I was talking more about the difference between was expected with moving to Ireland the immediately reality on the first day.


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