180 // Its (Not) A Miracle!

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One rebuke to modern religion is that; if miracles were so common in the past, why don’t they happen now? And whilst that is probably one of the weakest rebukes I’ve ever heard, since 2005 no one can use that point of inquisition any further. That is because in 2005 God once again played his hand, and he did so by arbitrarily helping Liverpool Football Club overcome a 3-0 deficit at half time to win the Champions League final against A.C Milan in Istanbul.

Now, no one knows to this day why God choose to intervene on that occasion, especially having already avoided intervening during the Indian Ocean Earthquake and subsequent Tsunami in the previous year. But intervene he did, and so was born “The Miracle of Istanbul”*.

Who could imagine being a football team in the biggest club cup final 3 nil down at halftime, and then coming back to win. You can try to imagine, but you can’t, it was an impossible task. It wasn’t. But it was impossible. It wasn’t impossible. Clearly.  Starting the second half of football at a deficit though is certainly a big disadvantage, but impossible to come back it is not. Mentally it must be tough though, especially to know that even if you score 3 improbable goals against the best team in the world, you are still not winning.

The last three days I have woken up with severe headaches, and terrible nausea. If I didn’t know any better I’d say I was pregnant. Although I’m now doubting as to whether headaches are a sign of pregnancy. If they’re not, I can breathe a sigh of relief, but I really hope I just don’t know any better.

It is a big issue though; waking up like this each day because it takes me quite literally 4 or 5 hours to get to a stage where I can function properly. I’m sleeping well, I’m eating well, and I have been very conscious of the amount of water I drink. But I wake up every day 3 nil down to A.C Milan before the game has even kicked off. Not ideal, just ask Rafa Benitez.

To my rescue though I’ve had my very own Steven Gerrard*; Solpadeine. My Milan Baros* has been nowhere to be seen… In all seriousness though I think it would take a miracle to relieve me of these chronic headaches at the moment. I’ve tried everything, and by everything I mean, drank some extra water. What I really need is the stopping power of Jerzy Dudek.

Paul Green

*This was the name the media gave this game when it finished because Liverpool were heavy underdogs and then were 3-0 down at half time against a team of superstars.

*Steven Gerrard was the captain of Liverpool during the game, and is a hero to the club.

*Milan Baros was a very medicore striker, who often went ‘missing’ in games. That is what makes that joke good. 

*Jerzy Dudek made one of the best double saves I have ever seen, during the ‘Miracle of Istanbul’. That is why that reference works.

Read more, its good for you.

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20 Comments

  1. Buffy Devane

    I’m sorry about the headaches/nausea… I have not-dissimilar afflictions on occasion (oddly sharp headaches, when they happen)… though I neither eat nor sleep well, so that’s probably not so much a mystery.

    With regard to Istanbul 2005, I recall it was an enjoyable night overall (I was not actually in Istanbul, of course) with many pina coladas consumed at Chez Buffy… though the OCD freak in me was always rather irked by Mr Baros’s wearing of the number 5 shirt. (Perhaps quite rightly, no-one else cared…)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. fitfulfearfulphantasmal

    I have truly been enjoying your writing. Please delete this comment or feel free to slap me or tell me I’m on the outside of an in-joke but…I noticed you have a sentence you put at the bottom of most posts. The “read more” one. Is there a reason you left the apostrophe off the word it’s? I wondered if it was a “Where’s Waldo” test and we were supposed to find it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul Green

      I’m glad you’re enjoying! And nooooo it’s not a game it’s purely lazy grammar. It was noticed a long time ago but I use a template for all my posts and every time I publish a new post I say to myself ‘I must change that’ and repeat that pattern for about 3 months. Maybe, just maybe tomorrow will be the day, but don’t count on it. Maybe we can start an in joke and then start loads of in jokes so much so that I never even have to used grammar at all in future.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mahbuttitches

    I’m very sorry to tell you this, but you do sound pregnant. Are your nipples tender?

    In all seriousness, though, I am sorry about the nausea and headaches. When I was pregnant, a banana was the only cure for both for me. I’d wake up retching and wishing for not necessarily death, but the sweet sweet release of not existing in any form.

    I guess, though, by following the story, every day you successfully get out of bed and ultimately end up back in your bed, you too have had your own miracle, or you are pregnant and miraculously male and pregnant. The world may never know…or will…in 9 months. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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