When does the sky become space? When does red become yellow? When does Wheet-a-bix become mush? When do cells become conscious? When does your belly button become a hideout for fluff? When do sounds become music? When does the metaphysical concept of ignorance become Donald Trump? When does a caterpillar become a butterfly? When does relaxation become boredom?
I will be honest and say I only know the answer to one of those questions. I mean, I could probably have a stab in the dark where some are concerned; Catapillars go into a cacoon then magic happens and it flies away as a butterfly. Red becomes yellow after it evolves through orange, which also happens to be the meeting point in which the metaphysical concept of ignorance becomes Donald Trump.
I surely know the answer to the last question though and that is because I realised what happens when you are too productive. If you’re too content and you finish the endless list of things you wanted to do in a day, then nothing is left. The moment of transformation between relaxation and boredom is a personal one, and for me it happened approximately 3 minutes after I finished everything I wanted to do today.
Had I visualised my day by writing it down, there would have been a large gap after doing work with the words >INSERT FUN HERE< or something which is a more common the worry; >DO ANYTHING AS TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM THINKING TOO MUCH< a gap with hours to fill and no chores to fill it with is a scary situation with someone who is troubled with mental health issues.
You can’t just give me 5 hours of completely free time. Paradoxically, I do realise it is something I strive for almost every day, but still, don’t give it to me. Are you mad? It is like donkey with the carrot and the stick. You don’t give the stick to the donkey do you? What use is a stick to a donkey?*
So, my new task was to keep my mind busy, which lead me back to reading, which lead me back to headaches, which lead me back to boredom, which lead me back to thinking. The moment relaxation turns into boredom for me is when I start wishing the time away. And if there is one thing I think should be a crime against humanity, it is wishing time away. We don’t get a lot time on this planet and to be sat in one of the most privileged places in the world wishing it away is frankly embarrassing. I’m sure there is a phrase attached to that (in)action; something like ‘privileged guilt’ or ‘self-absorbed narcissist blogger syndrome’.
Either way the general life plan is challenge myself and not to let myself reach that point – to avoid the switch over into boredom. It could be worse though, I could be
Donald Trump orange.
*A philosophical debate for another time.
P.S Ah yeah, I should also say that even though the Mindfump shop has actually been open for a little while I finally linked it to the blog. If you want to give me all your money in exchange for what is essentially coloured paper, you can do it there. If not then you really won’t enjoy the experience. The link is below or on the homepage.