In the olden days there were a group of people called the Philistines and they had a captain called Goliath. Well, I don’t actually think he was the captain but he was the tallest and meanest so all the other boys let him do what he wanted. On one particular day in a specific time in real history, the Philistines were having a casual tussle with the Israelites, when suddenly Goliath stepped forward and said ‘a one on one match would be better’. So your big boy G stands alone waiting for his challenger, and up crops your small boy D.* The crowd gasp – David is no warrior, he is just a small man person, there is no way he can win.
And it was difficult, don’t get me wrong. Goliath was a mountain of a man, so David thought long and hard, before cheating his way to victory, but it was a hollow victory, as the result was eventually annulled by the Warrior’s Court of Arbitration.* Theres no places for bullies in this world, and David really stepped over the boundary. Cutting off Goliath’s head is one thing, but stealing his clothes was frankly unnecessary. Especially as David wears a European size ‘S’ and Goliath was at least a double X L
This couldn’t happen in my world right now though, not today. Today I flew home to the UK for a long weekend with my family. Although I neither have qualms with the Israelites nor the Philistines, I was not going to let Mr D for Depression kill me and steal my clothes today.
Walking around today, going to the cinema and walking the dog, I felt like I walked into battle with loads of strong people around me, supporting me all the way, and
David Depression is no match for that. Naturally though I was stood behind all of those strong people shouting insults at Depression, like the guy who hangs around with the bullies, but never actually gets physically involved.
Support is up there, with exercise, as joint winner for ‘Best Way To Beat Depression 2017’, although unfortunately for me I’ve had very limited opportunities to exercise and I often don’t physically have a lot of support around me, in terms of friends and family*. That has all changed this weekend though and David is going to get what for – that murdering clothes stealing hooligan.
*D stands for David.
*Couldn’t find the reference for this, but I’m pretty sure it happened.
*Because I live so far away.
P.S I never usually explain any jokes which may or may not be hidden deep inside the text, but just be aware that I know in the true, real, 100% fact story David is the good guy – but that would mean my analogy wouldn’t work, as depression
can’t won’t win.